Demoralised..

Oh wells...
Life sometimes just doesn't give you what you want..
Somtimes I really wonder...
How to still cling on to God in times like these...
Hard..

God... help me...
Give me the strength to carry on...
Give me the hope to continue to strive..
I'm really down to my darkest moment.. What is my future?
I'm really lost.. Not knowing what to do or what is ahead of me..
I feel like crying..
Help me to cling on to you.. Nothing else i really wish for..
Just a real relationship with you.. just like in the past..

Help me Lord...

Teary,
-HuaZai-

WARAKUuuuuuuu

SHIOKY! Went waraku today to have my dinner!!
Some superb food they serve manz..
The only thing I'm fustrated about is the waiting time... 1hr...
1HR LEH!! IMAGINE HOW HUNGRY I WAS!!
Super full after eating my Suzuran..
And I also realised how "chor lor" miss BaoXin is.. Hahas..
Her cream sauce can actually splash out of her bowl while she eats!
Poor Yawen had to suffer sitting beside her... She should have known.. LOL

Anyway.............................................
I'M IN LOVE........................................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WITH.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
JAY CHOU's NEW ALBUM! HAHAHA!
This is one of the nicest song in his new album..
Totally amazing..

失落非主流/说好的幸福呢



你的绘画凌乱着.
在这个时刻.
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.
甜蜜散乱了.
情绪莫名的拉扯.
我还爱你呐.
伴你断断续续唱着歌.
假装没事了.

时间过了走了.
爱情面临选择.
你冷了却了我哭了.
一开始的不快乐.
你用卡片拭写着.
有些爱只给到这真的痛了.

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得
你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着.
要怎么停呢

你的绘画凌乱着.
在这个时刻.
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.
甜蜜散乱了.
情绪莫名的拉扯.
我还爱你呐.
伴你断断续续唱着歌.
假装没事了.

时间过了走了.
爱情面临选择.
你冷了却了我哭了.
一开始的不快乐.
你用卡片拭写着.
有些爱只给到这真的痛了.

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得
你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着.
要怎么停呢

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
我都还记得
你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着.
要怎么停呢

Enjoy!
ShiokyMax,
-HuaZai-

Thinking...

It has been a long time since I blogged..
Really lots of stuff that I blogged about.. but these few days..
Haiz.. just no mood to do anything..

Really lost in the matters of the heart..
I once had her..
Now.. She's so far away I don't even know what is happening in her life..
She's avoiding me.. I'm quite sure of it.. don't know why she has to do that..
I have never forced her to do anything she didn't like or want..
I always wanted her to be happy..
I don't know why she has changed to become afraid of me..
To try her best to keep clear of my way..
I think she just don't want to even keep me as a friend anymore..
Well.. somethings.. just not meant to be.. Loving is letting go isn't it?
Hope she will really be happy.. that's all I can wish for..

靠近
走在人擠人的走道 我問了自己
沒有愛情的人是否會長命
那些電影常常讓人感覺甜蜜 但是我 不相信


坐在沒有人的角落 我又問自己
究竟應該繼續還是該放棄
沒有人能了解我現在的心情 想看你 想躲你 難以決定


每當我想靠近 你總會裝冷靜
眼看你的表情 彷彿己經說明
我只想要證明 我們這段愛情
也許在你眼裡 它只是個遊戲


我只想要靠近 也很想要抱緊
回想到那過去 和現在新的你
我還想要參與 你的生活點滴
只要你肯相信 我一定會陪你走下去


能不能夠讓我再說"我愛你"
還是你己不想聽
能不能夠把你徹底的忘~記~
我是真的搞不清~


只要你再相信 我們會緊緊地 靠在一起

Another person that I'm sad about is my meimei..
She's another changed person..
Don't know what's she's busy with.. She's just not the same meimei I knew..
No longer the cheerful and bubbly meimei.. At least not in front of me..
All she does in front of me now is pout.. show sian-face..
But whenever people like Hongyi is around.. or her handphone sounds, probably messages from Derick, she will go all cheerful again..
Msn.. talk to her like talking to tree..
But whenever i notice her talk to others online.. It's so different..
Well.. I dote on my meimei and I too just hope that she will be happy..
Even at the expense of my happiness...

Somehow.. this 2 people just make me sad.. But I still hopes for them to be happy..
I may soon lose these 2 person in my life..
Maybe it will become Hi-Byes..
Maybe..

Unhappy,
-Hua Zai-

Accuracy Of Death

Caught 'Accuracy of Death' together with zhihuai and yongchia..
Very long time since the three of us went out together..
The show was alright actually I felt.. abit blur here and there but at the end of it can still understand the love story behind it..
The soundtrack for this movie is damn nice..
It's sang by 小西真奈美 (Manami Konishi), titled “Sunny Day”
Watch the music video below.. Enjoy! =)



Bored,
-HuaZai-

It's Over...

Well.. Had a great time at the EJ288 retreat just immersing in the love of the Lord
Knowing that He is the only One who can satisfy, throwing every burden and iniquities, to be empty and broken before Him..

Came back.. Talked with her.. I guess.. It will be this way now..
Nothing much I can do.. Nothing much I will do either..
I guess everything is in God's hands..
His ways are always "Lose to Gain, Die to Live". Chim huh??
Well, He's God. =)


1 Corinthians 13:1-13
And now I will show you the most excellent way.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all msyteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection both as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remains: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.

Secured in His Love,
-HuaZai-

Happy Birthday To Me..

Happy birthday to me...
Happy birthday to me...
Happy birthday to meeeeeee...
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee!

Haha.. well as u can guess... I just crossed over from 21 to 22..
Old uncle le.. hahax..

I should say that I had quite an interesting celebration by my aljunied gang just now..
So interesting that I end up eating ink choc huh.. *wink to that somebody*
HAHAHAx.. lucky i only bit the corner.. hahax..
God always protects! hahahax.. =P
Anyway I heartz the pressies.. hahx.. THX GUYS! Appreciate alot..
Went supper with shinuan and wanlin... suppose to be happy...
But I don't why.. i just can't be happy.. hahx.. Maybe I think too much? Or something is really wrong but I can't do anything about it? I feel helpless..

Well many people will think that I should be really happy to have celebrated..
But.. well.. I'm far from happy.. in fact I'm abit emo actually.. ahahx
Something's just not right... Why this has to happen...
How I wish all these didn't happen.. and both of us are back to where we were...
Friends... normal.. nobody reveals anything... and nobody does anything special..
Where we can be so comfortable to share anything and everything..
Just normally.. like how a friend will treat another... no misunderstandings.. no sudden change in attitude.. and everything can be so fluid.. so transparent...

But.. I think in the near future.. none of this is going to happen..
Because for me.. I don't really know how to approach the problem.. neither do I want to do anything that will make things worse..
But also.. I know that leaving things status quo is not the right thing to do either..

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? Only God knows I suppose...
*Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation*
*Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion*

How true can these quotes be? well.. take some time to think friends..

Helpless,
-Hua Zai-

WEEKENDS!!

IT'S WEEKENDS AGAIN!! =D
Better make full use of the time now to enjoy the weekends...
Soon all that schoolwork will start flying in.. before you know it, you're drowned..

This week was quite an eventful week...
2 nights of supper made me realised that walking to usual supper place isn't all that near after all.. ahhax..
Almost went crazy walking for minced-meat noodle on the 1st night of supper...
But it was a good time of just relaxing and enjoying the night sky, chatting and laughing all the way..

On wed, like all kiasu Singaporean, we CHIONGED to the entrance of SCE office to queue for the welcome day gifts and food..
Got great stuff manz! Pencil, Pen, folders, file, etc.. PIZZA! DONUT!
All my favourite! The donut was fantastic! All that cream and chocolate..
Smeared all over my lips.. the bacon on the pizzaaaa.... YUMMY!
*simply irresistible*

Anyway, this week was the start to my tutorials..
Ultra thankful that I got a Singaporean math tutor..
Though I'm abit sianz that my logic design tutor is a foreigner.. but still can understand what he is talking about.. so still not so bad.. hahahx..
I'm damn country-ist! if there's such a word... hahahaax *grinz*
Totally not looking forward to next week! start of lab! OMG!=(

Tears fill my eyes too often

Tears fill my eyes too often
My heart it is often broken
When I see you, you make my day
You are so beautiful, in so many ways

I have to live like a fool
For my dreams can't come true
I love you with everything I have to give
You are the reason I live

I have to face the truth
I know I'll never be with you
That is such a tragic tale
Of the girl whose heart has failed

But somehow deep inside I know its right
Though I can't live like this at night
I cannot live without you
I live a lie, but this love is true

missing you,
-HuaZai-